The Disregard Of Timekeeping
Part of the A Good Honest Man series

by Silver

Disclaimer: I don't own them. Never had never will. Made no money from it. It was all for fun.
Notes:The ATF belongs to Mog. Thanks to KS for all her help on this and the beta. Big thanks to Jo Ann and her whipcracking. Thanks to my wonderful list sibs on The Magnificent Two and A Gamblers Lust lists. Hopefully this will calm the lynch mob... for now <g>.

Back to: Chance Meetings

Often do the spirits
Of great events stride on before the events,
And in to-day already walks to-morrow.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

In some cultures there is a capability to walk outside one's self. A spirit walk or dreamscape, of sorts. To permeate and transcend the three states of consciousness. In Hinduism it's call 'turiya'. To be an observer of what is happening around you and about you. To learn what is foreordained before it happens is a gift and curse. To have the insight to use the gift wisely and the sense of honor to accept the curse in the form in which it was given. Being the means to choose what needs to be changed and the courage to accept what cannot be changed. He would thankfully accept and make ample use of the Fate's gifts. In this state between wakefulness and death, he had glimpse of all that his heart desired. Everything he could ever need or want. He had seen the depth of Vin's love.

His lover had been right. They were and always would be, destined to be apart of each other's soul. They were connected, bonded and linked to each other's spirit. They were one.

He knew he needed to tell Vin everything he had learned about himself and their future, but first he had to change what he had seen in his spirit walk. He feared for his lover. He had watched as his old lover showed up and said that he wanted to have a relationship with him again. Vin had left before he had been able to give Dakota Paske a negative answer. Telling Dakota that he found everything he ever needed or wanted in Vin Tanner. That he had no interest in him or having another dysfunctional relationship with him again.

Then he was there as Vin grabbed Dakota from behind, putting a hand over the struggling man's mouth effectively silencing the startled cry that tore through his throat. He caught the wicked gleam of the knife before it entered Dakota's heart over and over again. Ezra watched as the life drained out of his blue eye's much in the same way the life giving blood drained out of his body, washing the alley and Vin in its crimson heat.

He was there during the trial as they convicted Vin of murder and he was in the room when they strapped Vin to the table. Watching as the needle entered his lover's arm. Then, he felt a soul searing heartache as he watched Vin Tanner die for the murder of his ex-lover Dakota Paske. His soulmate had murdered someone and died for it. It had all been for nothing. Ezra had never given Vin any reason to think he would choose him over his ex-lover. He was to blame for this out come.

Ezra Standish was going to take this gift of knowledge that the Fate's had granted him to save his lover's soul, his life and their love. He felt a pull at his being, a feeling of almost panic and desperation to be back with in himself. He fought the fog that surrounded him, almost suffocating him in its thickness. He did not stop as the pain overwhelmed all his senses. He fought the heaviness that was trying to prevent him from making eye contact with the other half of his soul. At last, he opened his eyes to the smiling indigo harbor that were Vin's eye's.

"I've missed you, Ez." Vin said as he gently held Ezra's head up allowing him to drink the pure clear water. Ezra allowed the liquid paradise flow over his tongue and down his throat.

He grabbed Vin's arm as he moved away, the desperation and terror clearly showing in his voice and his emerald green eye's conveying the same message. "Vin, please don't leave me. Ever. I need you now and forever. I love you more than life itself. Please, if you remember nothing else, remember that I need the other half of my soul more than I have ever needed anything else. I cannot survive without you. Ever."

Vin was surprised by the depth of feeling and shocked by his lover's confession. Cupping his lover face, letting his feelings show in his passion darkened eye's, he took the gambler's mouth in gentle kiss. Slowly possessing the mouth of the one he would love forever.

"I love ya Ez. Always have. Always will." Framing the much loved face, "What's wrong Ezra, do I need to get the doctor? What has you so afraid?" Vin could feel the tremors and see the fear shining in the emerald pools.

"Vin promise me that you will always know that I love you. That you'll never let anything or anyone, separate or take you away from me. Please, I need you to promise me, Vin."

Seeing how important this was to his gambler, "I give you my word as a Tanner that nothing can separate us or take me away from you. I'll die before I let someone take you away from me."

"NO!?! Vin, I need you to live. I'll die without you."

"Calm down Ezra. I promise nothing will come between us, all right?"

With drooping eye's, "Don't leave me alone Vin. I'm afraid of what will happen while I'm asleep. Don't leave my side. Please?"

"Won't leave you ever Ez. Love ya too much. I'll be here the whole time you're asleep and when you wake up. I promise. Now close your eyes and go to sleep."

With that Ezra fell into a healing sleep. He knew Vin would never break his promise to him. He was too honorable for that. His lover was safe and that was the only thing that mattered right now. He would tell Vin everything when he woke up.

A Good Honest Man Index On to: Paradox Of Dreams

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