Maude In Law
Disclaimer: They own 'em, I don't, they ignore 'em, I won't; no harm, no foul, 'nuff said. All rights belong to the owners and creators. No copyright infringement is intended.
Rating: slash, but safe to show to everyone.
Summary: You can't fool Maude.
Feedback: FB is better than chocolate.
Author's Notes: Okay, here we go - I wrote a little E/V ficlet the other day, showed it to my friends, and they said "post it! post it!". It's very short, but everyone who has read it enjoyed it and I hope you will too.
Maude was doing her level best to be the type of irritation that only a Standish can truly aspire to, and Ezra had had enough of her ill-veiled insinuations about "drifting tumbleweeds 'round this neighborhood" since Vin had moved into his condo. Ezra and Vin had been lovers for some time now, but the sanctified dead would rise from their graves before Ezra would admit that to Maude.
So Ezra devised a plan and invited his mother over for dinner. Once he had Maude on home turf, he would subtly but stridently imply to her that Vin slept in the spare bedroom, which had been carefully laden with Vin's things for authenticity.
During the course of the meal, Maude couldn't help but keep noticing -- and remarking -- on how beautiful Ezra's roommate, Vin, was. Maude had long been suspicious of a relationship between Ezra and Vin, and this had only made her more curious and adamant about finding out the truth.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, Maude started to wonder if there was more between Vin and Ezra than met the eye. Reading his mother's thoughts, Ezra volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Vin and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Vin came to Ezra saying, "I need to talk to ya, Ez. It's 'bout that beautiful lil' silver horse statue from my nightstand -- you know, the one that you bought me when I moved in. It means a lot ta me, Ez."
Ezra smiled and yanked on Vin's shirt to pull him in closer, concerned about the sigh Vin let out. "A fraction of what you mean to me. Nothing is wrong with it I hope."
Vin shook his head sadly. "Nah, it's just..." Vin sighed then looked Ezra right in the eye to steel his nerve. "Ever since yer ma came to dinner, I've ain't been able to find it. I hate to cry thieving, 'specially of yer ma, but... You don't suppose she took it, do ya?"
Ezra groaned. "I wouldn't put anything past my dear sainted mother, but she doesn't usually stoop so low as to attempt a brazen, common theft." Ezra thought some more. "Not anymore anyway."
Ezra said, "Despite my doubts, but I will send her an e-mail to see if she will try to obfuscate the issue, just to be sure. Given the nature of the crime, I must not be accusatory, but give her an out."
So he sat down and wrote Maude an email:
I'm not saying that you "did" abscond with the silver horse statue, and I'm not saying that you "did not" abscond with the silver horse statue. But the fact remains that said item has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Several days later, Ezra received an email from his mother that read:
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Vin, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Vin. But the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the silver statue by now.
<G> This joke is not new, but something I heard recently and thought "Gee, I could make a E/V out of that one." I had initially thought about creating an actual slash fic around this joke, and hey maybe I still will one day. But for now, I just changed the names, added some classic M7 lines, and viola - an M7 slash joke. <g> Easy and fun. Enjoy.
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