Hello, My Dear

by Twig

Disclaimer: Don't own them.
Author's Note: Angst-free sequel to Unreliable. It's all LadyChris' fault. Blame her. She's the one who got the idea in my head in the first place.

Back to: Unreliable

Well, hello, my dear. You're looking lovely today. Hmmm? What was that? I can't hear you. Oh well, it's okay. I know it's not important. It's just murmurs in my ear, and I do love murmurs in my ear. Heh. Yeah? What was that? You think you look fat? Well, the nurse did drop by a couple of hours ago to make sure you're nice and plump.

Tisk. Tisk. Tisk. Now don't go talking about yourself like that. Look at me. I'm pale and ugly, lying here, but with you by my side, dear, I'm as handsome as Adonis.

Awww, you do have such a lovely laugh, my dear.

And yeah, I am as handsome as Adonis. Thank you, darling.

Hmm? What was that? My bandages need changing? No, the bleeding has stopped. In fact, it has remained stopped ever since my wonderful ambulance ride to here. Chris had looked so worried, but I knew that everything was gonna be all right. And I am all right. I am perfectly all right, having a lovely conversation with a darling like you.

What was that? My carpet?! Oh dear! It's gonna have a fit when I get back. Blood is so hard to get out, and Doyle is such an expensive man to hire. But he is the best, and I hire only the best. Still, I can't imagine my bill once he's done taking out the red from my blue, blue carpet.

Blue... such a nice shade of blue... deep, like the ocean, like clear blue sea, like the eyes of a dear friend of mine. What was his name again?

Never mind.

At least the Jag's not stained.


What do you mean?

AAAA!!!! You shouldn't know such gory details. Hell, there shouldn't even be such gory details when it comes to my beloved car.

No! No! Dearie, you're my beloved too. Of course, of course! No one else.

Except my car.

My poor, poor car.

Fred's gonna have a field day with my car. A car mechanic and his wrench will soon go partying with my money.... sigh.

What did you say? The tires will have to be replaced? The windshield? The upholstery? The brakes? The dashboard? The rear shield? The engine? The whole freaking car????!!!!

Have I told you lately how unbecoming a bomb is on a car?

I know, dear, I know you told JD not to tell you the gory details of the state of my car. I know Buck whapped the kid up side the head.

My car... my poor, poor precious car....

"Mr. Standish?"


"Mr. Standish?"

I open my eyes. Adelaide. Sweet Adelaide!

Oh no my dear, you're sweeter than Adelaide.

"Are you in pain?"

My car.... my poor, poor car....

I think I nodded.

"I think I'll add a little more painkiller for you, okay Mr. Standish?"

Oh sweet Adelaide, you know what I want.

No, no! I said, my dear, you're sweeter than Adelaide.

Adelaide, do be careful. Irma Veronica is rather delicate.

Isn't that a sweet name I've made up for you, Irma Veronica?

Or perhaps you would like Ilana Vera?

Or Isabelle Valerie?


Well, Irma Veronica is it then, my dear. Let me tell you about my car, sweet pea. It's the most beautiful car you've ever seen....

"Do you feel better, Mr. Standish?"

Hmmm? Yeah, yeah....

Now, Irma Veronica, where was I? Oh yeah.... There once was a handsome man, yes, as handsome as Adonis, and his name was Ezra. And he had a car. One day he came home to find a strange man in his apartment... did I mention that the man was handsome and he had a car?

Thought so.


If you enjoyed this story, we're sure that Twig would love to hear from you.

End Note: Have you guessed what Ezra had been talking to? Irma Veronica? The initials? Ahhh... funny huh?


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