by Kendra Standish
Author's Note: To Be Continued if I get good reviews so R&R ppl
Once upon a time, Ezra Standish decided to go to med school. Ever since he was a little boy and his mother dumped him at uncle after uncle's house, he wanted to be a surgeon. He liked the idea of cutting people open and poking at their slimy, gooey guts. He quickly rose to the top of his class because he was so smart and had to prove himself to his disapproving mother, Maude.
One day, he was walking around in downtown Boston when he saw a man slumped in an alley. Ezra was concerned, because he had a heart of gold and liked to help people, so he went over to the man and asked if he was alright.
The man looked up at him and said, "Do I look alright? I just got mugged by a gang of thirty varmits."
"Oh, I'm sorry, but maybe I can help," Ezra said. "My name is Ezra. I am a med student. Are you injured?"
"No, I don't need no doctor," the man said. "The name's Vin Tanner."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Tanner," Ezra said. "You have the most stunning cerulean pools I have ever seen in my life." Ezra felt like he was drowning in them.
Vin blushed because he was a street rat and no one ever called him pretty. Ezra leaned in and pressed their lips together.
And then they went back to Ezra's place, a little dorm at his med school. And they had sex on his desk. And on his roommate's bed. And against the wall. And then they had sex in the shower.
And they were about to have sex on Ezra's bed, which they had finally managed to find, when Ezra's roommate Chris Larabee walked in. He was drunk because that's what people in college do. He took one look at Vin, entangled in Ezra's passionate embrace, and they shared a moment so deep that they forgot about the rest of the world. Their souls connected in that glance, and even though Chris was about to throw up in the trash can, he knew that Vin Tanner would be his BFF.
So Chris threw up in the trash can while Vin and Ezra finished up. Then Ezra was all, "I think the condom broke, Vin."
And Vin was all, "Oh shit, it didn't break, we totally forgot about it."
"Shit, what if I get AIDS, Vin?" Ezra asked, panicking. "Or worse, what if I get pregnant?"
"Shit, that would suck because I can't afford child support right now, I need to support my drug habit first," Vin said.
"We should go ask Josiah, he lives down the hall and he'll know what to do because he is daddy," Chris told them. He didn't want Ezra to get pregnant. He had to study and a screaming baby in their dorm wasn't going to make for a good study environment.
The three of them headed down the hall to Josiah's dorm and knocked on the door. His roommate Nathan answered, and taking one look at Ezra, he declared, "I don't LIKE you."
Ezra looked down and resisted the urge to cry. No one ever liked him until he met Vin, and now their relationship was in jeopardy.
"We just need to ask Josiah a question," Chris said. "Ezra can't help it if he's a slut, Nathan."
"Okay, let me get him, he's reading his Bible and praying," Nathan said. Josiah came to the door a second later.
"How can I help you, sons?" he asked. "Did you lose your clothes again, Ezra?"
Ezra looked down and realized that after all that passionate lovemaking, the author forgot to make him and Vin get dressed (AN: LOLZ OOPS).
"Er, no, I was just preoccupied," Ezra told Josiah. "I... I think maybe Vin got me pregnant."
Josiah stared at the three of them, all of them looking up at him with huge puppy dog eyes. "Son, you can't get pregnant. You're a man," he said, sighing. Med students.
Ezra looked completely floored. "Oh."
"But that doesn't mean you should be having unprotected sex," Josiah said. He pulled out a roll of condoms from his back pocket. "Remember kids, cover your stump before you hump!" Josiah fixed them with a stern glare then. "But you know, if you have sex, you will die, and get aids."
Ezra and Vin looked at each other. They didn't want to get aids and die. "Maybe we can just be BFFs," Ezra suggested.
"Okay, that sounds good," Vin said. "But Chris is my BFF too, so we can only be kinda-BFFs."
Ezra smiled, but inside his heart was breaking. He always played second fiddle. "Okay, Vin, that sounds nice," he said.
To Be Continued if I get good reviews so R&R ppl
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